Wednesday, December 13, 2006
@10:27 PM
And tonight, I feel especially dull.
I wonder, could it be the wet weather tonight that made it so dull and somehow, depressing? Or, am I just using that as an excuse? Tonight, like one of those familiar nights occasionally, my heart feels exceptionally heavy, like there's a lot of emotions weighing me down. I can't find an exact reason to cry for, I'm angry with myself for not being capable enough, I'm upset for being so much in self-denial and I hate to land myself in such situations. So much pain.
What am I to you?
I do have an idea of where I stand, but I beg not to be thrown there.
Indeed, there's a lot I can do other than bothering about this. Like how you would only bother about matters that are closely connected to you. Other than that, fuck it. It does hurt a lot and it's breaking me.
Yes, I know. It was my choice.
